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Post by Elric3960 on Apr 2, 2002 1:58:19 GMT -5
Inspired by a suggestion by the Lovely Dohlman, I'm recounting an appearance that Michael Caine made on the Tonight Show countless years ago. He once met John Wayne and here's what he said about the encounter:
Wayne said, " Didn't you play the guy with all the broads?"
He was referring to "Alfie," in case you didn't know.
He said after that, " I liked the film and I think that you'll be a big star. I just have a few words of advice. Talk low and don't say your words too fast. And NEVER WEAR SUEDE SHOES!"
Caine was confused by this. Wayne explained further.
"Let's say that you're coming in at the airport. You catch a cab. You get to a hotel. You take a leak. Then suddenly, like what happened to me a week ago, a fan will be standing at a urinal next to you doing the same thing, he'll stop what he's doing and he'll turn next to you and say 'HEY! You're JOHN WAYNE!'"
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Post by Christina on Apr 3, 2002 15:48:05 GMT -5
;D ;D ;D ;D
first cousin to the Viagra gag.........................
You men, such a funny design.
God does have sense of humour, doesn't she? ;D
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Post by Elric3960 on Apr 4, 2002 2:01:07 GMT -5
Yes, SHE does!
Just remember that yours is far more complex and harder to maintain than ours! ;D
I'm impressed and confused at the same time regarding these two threads!
I can understand how a lady would have trouble getting the jokes because of the context and their limited ability to relate to a daily biological function with different equipment. However in both threads, THREE GUYS didn't get it and ONE LADY not only got it THE FIRST TIME but instantly recognized that this joke was a relative of the first one!
The fact that you can relate to men, and better than most men can, not only impresses me but makes me envy your "love slave" all the more, dear lady!
I know you mean that with affection and tongue-firmly-in-cheek, but that is what you've called him on occasion.
Lucky sod!
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Post by Mentat Tir on Apr 4, 2002 4:40:51 GMT -5
can somebody explain this joke to me please!!  |
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Post by Elric3960 on Apr 4, 2002 13:01:55 GMT -5
In short, it's a guy thing, which baffles the devil out of me as to why the GUYS in this BBS aren't getting it! We don't have to pass water sitting down like ladies do. Most of the time, we do it standing up and, as a result, we lose sight of where our body fluids travel when we "relieve ourselves." It tends to get even more difficult when we reach our "golden years." Sometimes "the plumbing" doesn't cooperate and the "faucet" isn't straight enough to "hit the mark," hence The Soggy Shoes Dilemna!
Sorry if that was too graphic for the people who are reading this thread, but I can't think of any other way to clarify this unusually elusive topic!
Incidentally, Caine was wearing cowboy boots and he pointed to them, presumably to emphasize the point that Wayne made. This could explain why most people never saw The Duke wear anything else when he made public appearances. It wasn't just a "fashion statement combined with a visual signature" I suppose.
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Post by Christina on Apr 4, 2002 13:28:58 GMT -5
can somebody explain this joke to me please!! The moral of both these stories is :- Guys - watch where you're pointing Percy when you're emptying your bladder, and don't turn around if you're talking to someone! Elric maybe they're pulling your leg for a change? |
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Post by Elric3960 on Apr 4, 2002 13:34:01 GMT -5
Perhaps you're right, my dear. It's hard to detect in print, as I'm sure you know.
"Percy" huh? I always thought you Brits referred to him as "John Thomas."
Times have changed, I guess.
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Post by UltimateTrekker on Apr 5, 2002 8:44:01 GMT -5
Well I know I'd spin around to fast to stop peeing if I saw John Wayne peeing next to me (mostly because he's dead)
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Post by Gnom on Apr 5, 2002 11:25:49 GMT -5
;D ;D ;D
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Post by Elric3960 on Apr 5, 2002 11:37:59 GMT -5
^^^Was that for my benefit or UT's? If it was for mine, thank you. If it was for his, I'm deeply disappointed, my dear.  |
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Post by Gnom on Apr 5, 2002 11:59:26 GMT -5
Since that was the very first time I set my feet on this thread [carefully looking where planting them], I'd say it was collective. For Elric exclusively:  Feel better now, my dear? |
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Post by Elric3960 on Apr 5, 2002 12:06:06 GMT -5
IMMENSELY!
Thank you, dear lady!
Excellent graphic, BTW!
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Post by StolenThunder on Apr 5, 2002 12:56:32 GMT -5
It's actually quite frightening.. |
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